Letter Re: Austin Brigade

Sehr geehrter Bundeskanzler Scholz & sehr geehrter vermutlicher-Bundeskanzler Merz,

[Staff of Herr Merz: Please pass this on to Herr Scholz’s office; the only contact I’ve had with his staff was a while back regarding a somewhat similar proposal (the von Steuben Brigade), and it’s unclear if this message will be seen by the current Bundeskanzler in a timely manner (and, as you’ll see below, time is of the essence). Thank you in advance.]

Gentlemen,

As was the case with my previous message to Herr Merz’s office, I’ll go on the working assumption that all staffers read English just fine and get right to the point (that said, many thanks to whoever it is in Germany [be advised this letter will go public via press release] who finally got me an answer from the IHK; the young man at the Ausländerbehörde front desk declined to say whether the IHK answer was good or bad, and his boss was out starting on Friday, but, for better or worse, I’ve been granted yet another stay of execution [till April 6th, exactly 20 years after I left NYC, funny enough]).

Yes, the point: It should now be crystal clear to the world, as of last week’s non-denial denial, that Herr Trump is planning to order the US troops currently in Germany, a country that just gave him and his Munich Mini-Me, with February’s perfectly respectable democratic election, a middle finger large enough to be seen from across the Atlantic, out of the Federal Republic and across two (or three) innocent countries into a new base in Hungary, the authoritarian and Russophilic anomaly of the EU that apparently still retains much of the spirit of the Huns (my fellow Americans will likely point out that the Great Hungarian Plain is, as it has been for over a thousand years, ideal for training and preparing for mobile warfare, but I think we know this is all too much of a coincidence).

What’s also too much of a coincidence is that the GHP is adjacent to a Ukraine fighting for its existential survival against a kindred spirit of both Orbán and Trump, adjacent to a Romania fighting for its political survival, and adjacent to a Serbia that would be more than happy to help the Serb Republic run “From the (Sava) River to the (Adriatic) Sea.”

Sehr geehrte Bundeskanzler, if this were any other American administration, a shift of forces from Germany to Hungary, given the threats to the world order stemming from the situations in Ukraine and the Balkans, could easily be seen as a stroke of genius. There’s a big “however” here: This administration is unlike any other American administration in history, and, in my humble opinion, in all the bad ways. I would not put it past Putin’s puppet, with the world’s most powerful soldiers astride such prime real estate, to attack Ukrainians or Bosnians who refuse to lose their lives, their livelihoods, and their nations.

If all of that sounds far-fetched and absurd, we should keep in mind that absurd and shameful episode in the Oval Office, the Munich affair I’ve already alluded to and which neither of you gentlemen certainly need reminding of, and the additional “coincidence” that Dodik in the Serb Republic is just now, after thirty years of a Balkan war frozen in ice-time, hacking away at a fragile peace with an ice axe pre-heated with a blowtorch.

Gentlemen, to the penultimate point from this American born here in Bad Kreuznach to a US Army officer in the thick of the Cold War: Before US soldiers start to pack up and ship out to defend, instead one of Europe’s strongest democracies, the EU’s one and only autocracy, we defenders of democracy should seize the day and the unique-and-fleeting opportunity that current circumstances are presenting. US troops and any of their family members on German soil should be offered immediate permanent residency in the Bundesrepublik, with the non-binding suggestion that they join the Austin Brigade.

What is the “Austin Brigade,” you might ask? As I’ve described in the letter posted at https://www.billisrunning.com/whatever-it-takes and elsewhere, the Austin Brigade, to be named after Stephen F. Austin, the Founding Father of Texas, will aim to fight Fascism forever, wherever and whenever it might rear its ugly head, defending Freedom, Order and the Rule of Law. I’ve already shared via press release my own private amateur sketch, a lone star above two intersecting cannon and the motto “Where there is Liberty, There is my Land” (an improvement on an aphorism attributed to Benjamin Franklin, an aphorism in turn based on an ancient Latin [Roman] expression of unknown authorship).

Gentlemen, please allow the world to make what it will of that Lone Star, based on my writings resting elsewhere. It doesn’t hurt that “Austin,” of course, reassuringly evokes the capital of Texas that still happens to be (at least according to my voter registration), my hometown: the capital of Tex-Mex, Live Music, Southern Belles (and Gentlemen, for those so inclined); basically everything that’s best about our modern American culture. 

Just know here, today, that the Austin Brigade could be, with the proper support from its German hosts and friends, a haven for those ready to fight for freedom (and I’ll just say here, by “fight” I of course mean “fight” in every sense of the English language). Germany will soon need volunteers to defend the democratic ideals exported from the United States 80 years ago, and, now, obviously and ironically, being quickly smothered in the land of their birth (as of this typing, the gentleman who loves every dictator he’s ever heard of is trying to illegally deport from the United States of America a young man with a passion for the Palestinian cause, the Constitution, permanent residency status, an acceptance into Columbia University and a child only a month from birth be damned).

In light of that last aforementioned development, I’ll keep the rest of my powder dry for now. Just know here, respected gentlemen, that you now know where one small piece of the very intricate puzzle one of you is about to inherit should go; I’ve described the shape of that piece (which will, of course, fits nicely with all the rest), and I sincerely hope you’ll see a sound suggestion for what it is. I could even draw up a more formal proposal (a plan, if you will) that could give our Green friends an idea of the innovative ways defense spending could be used against the real enemies; the slogan we currently have on the homepage of the Unity Party website is “our very existence is an act of rebellion,” (à la Camus) and that might not be a bad way to think of the Austin Brigade.

I now need to follow up with the local Ausländerbehörde (even if their office is closed for the day). I’ll be sharing with the world in a press release a small corner of my residency registration (I’m amused it includes my birth city’s stamp and I might stop by the same office for a copy of my birth certificate); you know where to find me as well as reach me.

Mit freundlichen Grüßen,

Bill Hammons